This won't come as a shock to the family and you all probably know. Last weekend, Ms. A's SO moved in to the house. I want all my readers to know that I'm totally ok with it, and I'll spell it out in detail in just a second. They've been dating a while and the lease was up on her place so after some serious discussion, we agreed that she should move in.
For those just joining us, Ms. A and I have been in a not-married mode for a while, nearly two years. After roughly nine years of marriage and a couple great kids, Ms. A came out (I guess RE-came-out) and we decided to stick together as friends and raise the kids. At some point we'll probably file for an actual divorce but that's just not on the plate now. It's costly, it's not friendly, it's a pain in the ass, we're not doing it. No reason to just now either. I'm not dating anyone and with the two of them, well, we're in Texas so go figure that out for yourself. Ms. A and I are the best of friends and it just doesn't make sense to us to split up the family like that.
So instead, we're adding to it. Here's where the fundies are going to blow a gasket. The kids love this girl (she needs a nickname, Ms. Louisiana?) and I think she's pretty cool as well. She and Ms. A worked together for a long time at a photo portrait company that went bust. Now she works with a catering company and is putting in something like 150 hours a week. Still, it's an extra person in the house to help with things and it's not a bad deal. She brings home food from events, watches and plays with the kids and will eventually help with bills.
It's really not a bad situation, as weird as it may sound. Ms. A and I weren't going to stay together but because it was amicable and I didn't want to split my time driving around with the kids every other weekend, this just works out. Plus, I get the biggest room in the house, I can put my LEGO sets in my room, there's catered food most nights and honestly there's a new circle of friends. (Which is huge for me, I don't seem to have much luck with that.)
I'm ok, the kids are ok, Ms. A is ok. We're all fine. No one has any hard feelings toward each other, it's all just fine. In fact, I've got a serious amount of karma for being so groovy about the whole thing, which I plan on saving with interest for that future time I may need to fly to Rio with that physics student/poet/rollergirl.
I think the worst thing that will happen is there will be people who can't or won't understand what's going on. So far the people we know have been okay with the whole thing, supportive of in fact. But I do expect to get some hate mail or disingenuous writings saying nasty things about the lot of us. Someone's a home wrecker, someone's selfish, someone has no self esteem, blah blah blah. I'll read them all I'm sure, but I'll go ahead and save you the time by saying it's not going to change anything. Lose sleep over it for us, it won't change what we're doing or why or how we feel about it. If you need to make yourself heard in a malevolent way, there's always a political rally where you can tell people what you really feel with a sharpie and some cardboard.
My biggest concern is when I find someone I like and am courageous enough to open my mouth and tell them, the first few words are going to be about this situation and it will be a deal breaker. If they can't handle the situation, I'm not even going to waste my time. It's a fact of my life the same as people with disabled relatives they take care of or college students with dorm mates or folks who've hit hard times who may live with they're parents or siblings. It'll change eventually I'm sure, just not right now.
Speaking of moving, Ms. A's mom has finally moved out of Conroe. Ms. A and her brother and sister helped find her a place out here and got her packed up and moved. There was a bit of travel, a couple weeks staying at Ms. A's brother's house and she even sold her house and car on Craigslist. Isn't that something. So now she's about 10 minutes away (in Pflugerville) and Ms. A is genuinely excited that she's here. It'll be good for both of them.
Election day is just over a week away. If you're in the states and your state has early voting, go do it now. Don't wait, don't put it off. Election day is going to be a fucking nightmare and you don't want to lose your chance to vote or be part of the problem by waiting till the last minute. Get to it early. Also, if you're undecided, don't vote. If you haven't made up your mind by now, just tune into Wheel of Fortune or something and keep your mouth open while you breath.
Thanks for reading all, take care.
at 1:45 PM
October 21, 2008 marks the continuation of John Hodgman's gift of knowledge. Complete world knowledge, that is. In Areas of My Expertise Hodgman revealed the world of the hoboes, including names for 700 hoboes. Now, with his new compendium, More Information Than You Require we learn of the deranged world below our own world of the strange naked-mole-rat-like people known enigmatically as "The Mole-men".
If you'd like to participate, just head over to the official list, pick out a name, and upload it to Flickr. Once it's on Flickr, add it to our official 700 Mole-men Flickr group to get it to show up on this site. Sound easy? It is!
And of course, thanks to John Hodgman for giving us these fake facts. Be sure to pick up a copy of his new book (and the old one too) for your enjoyment and inspiration.
at 11:22 AM
It's just recently hit the wires and tubes that Connecticut is now the third state to allow same sex couples to be equally recognized under the state constitution.
First off, good for CT! With Cali's ruling in danger of getting a state congressional repeal, it's good the fight is still being fought.
Neither candidate nor their running mates support same sex marriages but 0bamiden does support civil unions and I believe that's important, but it's not going to be enough. Why? Because the country is still being run by and populated with those who believe "marriage" is between a man and a woman. And you know what? That's fine. Believe it, teach it to your kids, practice it, silently admonish others in your own house. I believe prisoners should be sent to the front lines of combat instead of college age kids. I believe the money we spend collectively on advertising and entertainment could, in one year, be funneled into a Globe Foundation that will both find a vaccine for cancer and AIDS AND distribute relief to areas of the world that need it AND solve our renewable energy problem. (Tag line would be, "Suspend your wants for our needs" and OUR would have the globe as the O. Eh? Eh?) I believe that there should be mass transit in every city over 500,000 people to such a degree that even if you had a car you couldn't drive it into the downtown or urban centers. It'd be all sidewalks and trains. And yet some how, these beliefs only impact my brain. I may talk about them with people but they're just MY beliefs, not yours. The slippery slope we run into is we want to live in a world where society is just and fair. We want bad people to be punished and good people to be rewarded. We want children to thrive and old people respected. The problem is, it all comes from which book you read. Our just and fair belief structure comes from religion and not a logical set of rules. And because everyone believes different things, those rules are going to break and be rewritten.
Think about it for a second and let's imagine there's a gargantuan religious society. In this religion there was a prophet who told his followers, say, 4,000 years ago that to eat the fruit from a tomato plant was sinful and wrong. There's something evil about tomatoes, they're used like a vegetable but are classified as a fruit. Pick a side! Over the years, this religion spread and many many people believed in it. So much so there were virtually no tomato growers and those that did plant them kept it quiet. Then this new country was formed and they used their belief system to create a set of rules. There's only a few hundred at first so everyone was in agreement. They all believed in not working on Sunday, being executed if you murdered someone and being hung till death for growing tomatoes. Over the years, as the society changed, people from different lands came into the country. They abided by all the laws as best they could and those that didn't were sent away or punished. Still, quietly and discretely, a group of farmers began growing tomatoes but not selling them. Theses farmers were from somewhere else so they didn't believe a tomato was bad, but wanting to stay within the rules they didn't tell anyone they grew them and had them.
More time passes until eventually this country is comprised of so many different people with so many different view points that things like tomato growing doesn't bother close to half of them. These farmers want to grow tomatoes just as they would corn and wheat, but the law says they can't. Why does the law say they can't? Because 4,000 years ago people were scared of/didn't understand that a tomato was different from other fruits and they were afraid that their god would punish them for eating it or even knowing people who ate it or grew it. Having faith in their beliefs dictated they eschew all things tomato, regardless of the logic because they were afraid of not knowing what happens to them after they die should their life have any tomato stains. The farmers don't believe in everyone else's afterlife and only want the right to grow whatever plants they want, they can't understand that why growing their own food impacts other people who aren't eating it anyway.
This might be a weak (and horrible elongated) metaphor for homosexuality but there are plenty of other stories, gospels, teachings from various holy books that didn't make it into 20th century American, French, Hindu, Shinto law - not because they were any less important to the people at the time, but because over time the people who followed these religions began to realize that it wasn't hurting them or their lives to allow other people to function this way. It always suprised me the most about Christianity's "love thy neighbor" and "live and let live" tenants that homosexuality was such a big deal. It seemed contradictory and hypcritical, which isn't surprising given who God is. If we're made in his image, and his words contradict themselves, it's no wonder we're messed up. But the point I'm trying to make is that something like "marriage" shouldn't be in the hands of the government any more than "football" should. "Marriage" shouldn't be in the hands of your elected officials any more than "Star Wars" should.
The other thing I wanted to bring up was this and I'll try to be brief. Government only recognizes a marriage between a man and a woman. Why? Because it's in the Bible. Ok. So you only recognize things from the Bible. What about handfasting? It's not in the Bible? If I know my Wiccan, it's not "the union of a man and a woman" it's "the joining of two souls." So, are Wiccan/Pagan marriages still legal under the law? There's no book guiding them to only be a man and woman, and it's not in the Bible. I know Pagans are a small subset of a fraction of a lesser group of a minor collection of people, but the premise still stands. Is it fair to legislate something that not all people believe? Majority rules, I agree, but are we still at the point in America where the majority of people believe that two ladies can't live together AND file taxes together AND adopt a child AND make sure that child can be put in a will AND (on and on.) Are the majority of people STILL in the belief that knowing your neighbors are gay is going to be any more detrimental that being in an abusive (but traditional) home?
Yes, the majority still believe that it is SO wrong that you have to make it a law because you can't KILL IT WITH FIRE! The majority would rather know that their daughter is marrying an alcoholic than another daughter. The majority sees nothing wrong with lying and cheating your way into the most coveted political post in the land, but will not vote for you if you believe in same sex marriage.
I'm not saying the majority is stupid...
Wait, yes I am. Grow up, majority.
at 1:37 PM
36. WikiBot, the robot that is edited by volunteers
Originally uploaded by xadrian.
The holidays are coming up, you need that special gift for a niece or nephew, geeky husband, cartoon loving son or daughter and you don't want to get the typical toy that will be discarded after just days of use.
Why not get a customized and inexpensive piece of art that will show how much you care?
Stop by http://robotportrait.blogspot.com and put in a request.
You send a photo, I draw the person as a robot. Or you can just send a word or phrase that I turn into a lovable mechanical cartoon. Each portrait is done either on a 5x7 or 8x10 card and the drawing is recorded and set to music. Prices range from $15 to $30 depending on size. Discounts for multiple drawings.
And for you collectors, there's robot presidents and world leaders already available.
Thanks for looking!
at 10:43 AM
Brooklyn, NY. Willie Nelson’s “Crazy” playing in the background as a waitress takes a very specific order for a hairless white dude in a suit. The man is observing construction across the street through 50’s spy binoculars that give him a very Terminator, highly advanced readout. He’s also checking a stopwatch and writing notes in a peculiar script. The waitress asks if it’s Asian because she studied Korean, he just says no. He then eats his rare roast beef, jalapeno, pepper and tabasco sandwich in about four seconds right before an explosion rocks the construction site. He calmly pays his bill, dons his fedora and shades and takes his briefcase to the site of the blast. With shining blue lights around the area he makes a call and says, “It has arrived.”
at 9:12 AM
In the meantime, to cheer you up, here's a LEGO set I have for sale on Craigslist. Even if you're not a collector, you could definitely spend the time you now have by not watching your local NBC news shows building this fine (new in the box) set.
But, if it's not up your alley, at least tell a friend about it. Maybe while you're over at their house in Pflugerville or Kyle watching the debate on NBC tonight.
at 4:25 PM